hmmm might be getting a job as a security gaurd

that'd be a nice change with the money anyway
8 bucks an hour
they need my dd214 though
that probably means the don't want me

we'll see

wow long day

went and got everything straitened out with my dad and i have a CAR now!!!
we did all kinds of things around the house like we usually do
about to go see batman again
maybe ill like it better this time in more appreciative company
its not that i don't like seing movies with anna but batman is something better left to people who appreciate it
everyone else liked it so much more than me though that that has to be the reason i wasn't satisfied
cuz if anyone gets exited about batman...

well thats just FUCKING great

even her journal doesn't say anything

makes it seem like she just came up with this on a whim

i hope u had ur fucking fun with me



don't take wut im saying as i don't want to keep in touch or anything
i just feel like this is something u had to see me say
i still care about u
but i have to let u know this is how i feel
i feel angry above anything else
and i don't think u feel anything
no fucking remorse
no NOTHING
if im correct me
ill be checking this for the next couple of days

im not going into this in detail

anna broke up with me

i don't want to think about it
i don't want to talk about it
i don't want to hear about it
i just wish i knew why
i wish she felt more concerned about it
i wish she felt it was more necissary to give me an explaination
and i wish i didn't care so much

im mostly just angery
really really angery
i feel like i deserve a better explaination if nothing else

so whatever
we were moving too fast anyway

so today was fun
saw batman, wich could have been better but overall i was satisfied
got to see it with anna
im glad she puts up with my weirdness

i think miguel is gonna call me pretty soon
he wants to stay up all night untill tomorow night and he wants me to help
maybe we can help eachother do it
i havent stayed up till the hour of insanity in a long time (3:00)
we'll probably watch movies and play video games the hole time

im starting to realize how far back i set myself with the whole army thing
ive been home about two months and i've got some serious catching up to do still
ill probably get enrolled in classes next week
hopefully ill get the datsun next week too
this weekend is fathers day too
gotta be ready for that

makes me sad to know that anna won't be here during the school year
seems like it would have been fun
looking back on these last 6 months i realize that this is the most revolutionary period in my whole life
i feel like im starting from scratch this summer
i better keep it clean this time
im getting a good opportunity starting from scratch

ill just make sure i don't think about it too much
lets see if i can make it a year without fucking anything up
without wrecking a car or falling apart or spending all my money or taking out a 3000 dollar loan
all while getting another 30 hours befor next summer
lets see if i can do that...
wish me luck

sup